


Fireside Confessions

by Nessavanator



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Love, Love Confessions, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 01:13:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4686704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nessavanator/pseuds/Nessavanator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What began as a moment where Hawke finds herself stumbling in the trappings of grief and loneliness, a companion arrives with much more then just soothing words to comfort her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fireside Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first writing for Archive of our own, I've done quite a few Inquisition pieces on my tumblr, but these characters and this romance was all new to me and writing it. I love the complexity, and have half fallen for both characters in my simple little brain. Where I view Hawke as the lovable joker, with the shield of humor covering her true feelings, my reflection of Fenris is someone who by all means is a powerful ally, but also the most vulnerable of the companions. Both intelligent, and very observant people with far more similarities then that outweigh their vast differences. I'm going to enjoy playing around with different scenarios going forward. For now please enjoy and I appreciate any kind words and advice.

Marian Hawke leaned over the fireplace, embracing the warmth from the flames. It was sharp, and made her cheeks rosy, but the chill that was in her bones did not seem to take any of the effect.

Her breath caught in her throat as the events replayed over in her mind. The trail of blood, with each discovery her heart falling more and more. A tear trailed down her face and the pain within her chest swelled to the breaking point. Quickly she jerked away from the mantel, collapsing into a the chair nearby, wearily tucking her feet underneath her.

Alone, in the privacy of her bed chamber, she felt the emptiness. The small things that were noticed now, that she hated herself for not regarding before.

The scent of her mother's perfume no longer lingered in the air. No echo of mother's gentle direction to Orana that would carry over the quiet steps on the marble floor in the main room. The footfalls of feet that were now a ghost, a memory too brief.

The more she thought of the changes, the differences, the bits of her mother that no longer could be found around the mansion, the harder she cried. The loss of each family member that she had never given herself time to grieve over. Helping everyone before herself, filling her time, leading Hawke to exhausted nights where she couldn’t think. Or purposely pushing her limits both physically and in some cases with strong drink so she wouldn’t be able to think.

She sobbed hard into her hands, ignoring the fall of tears onto her finery. How her mother would have given her grief over the water stains of the expensive linen. That thought made her cry all the harder.

A gentle hand on her shoulder startled her, and ever the assassin, she had the intruder pressed against the floor in seconds, the sharp blade pushed against his jugular. It was Fenris’ dark green eyes held her with sympathy and compassion, he did not fight her as her glare did not divert once the discovery of who had entered her bedchambers was seen.

Tears still fell unbidden down her face, long blond hairs escaped from her ponytail stuck to her cheeks in an endearing and vulnerable way. Her blue eyes were frosted and aimed at him. At the one person she had given herself to body and soul, and who had broken that trust, and crushed her heart.

“What the hell do you want?” she seethed, far more angry than she ought to be. They had just been on the wounded coast the day before last, clearing bandits, and even sharing a joke and a flask of moonshine. “You have no right to be here.”

Fenris did not deviate, or turn his head in shame. Despite his mistakes he was a man that would stand before an adversary and stare into the abyss with confidence. Whether it was stubbornness or true knowledge of strength, Marian didn’t know. 

“I had run into Bodahn at the market, he mentioned that you could use some cheering up. I brought wine, figured we could throw daggers until we couldn’t see the target anymore.” He was honest, and his attempt at friendship, still an act so foreign to him, was generous and even the idea thoughtful. He recognized her love of darts at the hanged man, and instead of pulling her out to have to endure a night of public scrutiny and gossip, offered her a private affair in the place she was most comfortable.

“I know… it is not my place. But despite all I did… I consider you my friend Hawke, and I ache to see you suffer.” His words pierced her anger and the dagger shook against his neck, he didn’t even flinch as he started to bleed.

“Oh, Andraste's ass, mother will have a fit if I get blood on this floor one more time,” Marian cried, throwing her dagger aside and snatching a nearby handkerchief to wipe the small dribble of blood that dotted the rug.  
She scrubbed at it, violently cursing. “It… it wont come out.” She stared wide eyed at the rug, then the small smear of blood on her hands, traveling to the nick that was on the neck of the man she once loved… still loved.

“Oh… oh maker no! Not you too!” She pulled the cloth and dabbed the spot with all the gentleness she could before she collapsed in the arms that pulled her to the chest she had so rarely seen not covered in armor. Hands that shone with lyrium brands, not covered in spiky gloves and gauntlets but simple leather coverings. He felt real. The hardness that surrounded him was left aside so that gentle arms could hold her. He came to her without a barrier between them. But was this subtle gesture enough? Could she ever...

“I can’t fix it,” Marian cried into his chest, violently shaking with her emotion. “I can fix everyone else… but I can’t fix my own life. No matter how many people I help, no matter how much I do, I come home to the broken life I can’t ever escape! Everyone I love, everyone that loved me is gone. I am so alone.” She choked, as she squeezed her eyes against the overwhelming pain that threatened to consume her.

Fenris held her tighter to him, pulling her into his crossed legs. He kissed the soft hair that had come completely undone from the bindings of the ponytail she had always bound loosely at the nape of her neck. The silky strands tickling the lyrium brands, making his body sing. He couldn’t stop himself as he kissed her forehead, trying to convey the emotions he felt, the comfort he wished to give her.

Next he kissed the tear stained cheek, tasting the saltiness of her tears and sorrow, as she sniffled and looked up at him. Her eyes confused, desperate, hopeful. But she would not cross this threshold alone. She did not trust him to meet her halfway. He would need to do far more, and consistently before he could ever win back that unwavering assurance she had held for him before.

Without consideration he brushed his mouth on hers setting his body on fire with the rush of desire he had scarcely contained over these years. How often he had considered a tumble at the Blooming Rose, or taking up one of Isabela’s numerous offers. But no other would do. None who could swing a blade with a graceful efficiency. Whose muscular legs danced and moved with his eyes a captive audience. The smell of her sweat after a long day, a perfume that made desire coil like a snake in his abdomen. Everything about her, every moment with her, he ached to be around her, and ached when he was.

Now she was curled in her lap, open, wounded, a woman in every way, not just the leader and the champion. He was so unsure, but the years between his greatest mistake, and suffering since have taught him much.

“I do not know the right words to say,” he said softly after dragging his lips from her mouth reluctantly, “I do not even know if I have the right. But I am here for you. I will always be here for you. You will never be alone for as long as I shall live.”

Marian’s bottom lip trembled, but she did not look away from his gaze as she absorbed his words, “how can I trust you won't just leave me again? Maybe not tomorrow, or the next day, but what if one day it becomes too much again? I can’t limit my love for you and walk on eggshells for fear of your rejection, Fenris.” She squeezed her eyes shut, as her voice caught in her throat, and with her emotional floodgates open, she felt another wave trespassing on her control. “I would rather love you from afar as I have been these years, then have you break my heart once more.”

Fenris felt his heart both shudder then swell at her words. How can one go from two extremes of emotion so quickly? All the words that wanted to tumble forth, he held back. He understood that the healing would take time. He expected this. He however, had hardly to hope that he hadn’t ruined the potential of anything beyond friendship. The years of uncertainty. The confession on his tongue, the apology on his lips, but nothing felt sufficient for the pain he inflicted on them both. Not to mention he felt his cause was all but lost. Now though… now that flame was fanned brightly, and it burned strongly with new purpose.

“You still can love me?” his own voice was thick, and deeper than normal, he held her tighter in his apprehension, but she didn’t seem to mind the muscled arms pulling her closer to him. “After what I did I couldn’t even believe that was possible.”

Marian felt a smile threaten her lips, but now was not the time for quirk, and she did not have the spirit to be amused. “Despite my best efforts, my heart remained set on you. Every piece that slowly healed together, was stitched with a whisper of your name. Every time you laughed at a joke, every time you said you were mine, and you protected me in battle…" She gave a soft defeated sigh, "I loved you from afar so long that I couldn’t see anyone else.” She confessed as though watching from the outside of her body. The words tumbled forth with poetic liberty, and she could hear the heart of her loved one pick up in rhythm. Dare she look up to see what his stoic face might let slip?

“Hawke… Marian,” he began, and she held her breath. “I love you. I have wanted to say it since the night I left. I love you, and I’m sorry. I know those words will always be terribly insufficient, but that is the truth. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and have regretted every moment since. I thought I had ruined any potential of you ever even considering me. I couldn’t… I wouldn’t move on. All I wanted was you, and if following you into battle, sharing copious amounts of wine, discussing philosophy by firelight was all I would ever have, I was satisfied and would be content in spending my life following you. Even if it meant one day to see someone else making you smile.”

Marian didn’t trust herself to speak for a moment, and she knew Fenris waited with the patience of a saint. Against every part of him that protested for fear of rejection, Fenris tilted her face up to him to see eyes brimmed with tears, a blush alight on her cheeks, and a soft smile on her lips. It was all he needed. 

He pressed his mouth to hers. Gently at first, savoring the feel, the moment. Even if this was to be his only. He savored her mouth, pressing firmly, then slipping his tongue between her lips, he felt her eager acceptance and in his elation gave into the primal desires that had welled in him for so long.

His hands drew down the swell of her hips, and relished in the curves of her body. Enhanced and strengthened by days of battle and the physical labor of scaling mountains and rocky sea shores. He wanted to go slowly, by the maker he wanted this moment to last forever. But her hands eagerly explored him making his resolve quake, despite her gestures being just as stuttering and hesitant. 

She fanned her fingers across the muscles of his chest, reaching up one arm eagerly she wrapped it around his head, long fingers sliding into his white hair.

She shifted on his lap, and the swell of him brushing against her made his breath hiss has he drove his tongue into the depths of her mouth. Dancing with hers that matched his pace in ferocity. He guided her to the floor, and gasped as her hand was quick to the ties of his leggings. He stared down at her, her hair fanned out like a golden halo, her eyes red rimmed from her earlier emotional release, her lips swollen from their assault on one another.

She held his gaze suddenly, fingers stilling in their task, and a blush dotted her fair features.

“I love you,” he said again, and he saw a smile bloom, that he chased with a kiss abandoning any intent to go slowly. “I love you,” he mumbled against her mouth, as he hands ripped at the finery of her robe, and the simple shift beneath. Aching to touch the skin beneath that he had not forgotten one moment since that fateful night.

“I love you,” she whispered, her deft fingers pulling at his pants, making him still when he sprang free from the confines of his clothes.

He nearly cursed at the wave of need that overcame him. His desire was drowning him, his passion was consuming him as she reciprocated enthusiastically every step of the way against every part of him that had thought this very day would never come.

Then she delved to that which she had freed. Eager, without any hesitation and almost desperation. He cried out as she began to stroke him without restraint. 

“Stop, by the maker or this will be over before it begins,” he whispered in her ear before drawing his teeth along the lobe, making her gasp and arch against him. Her hands forgetting their task as they released him, and clawed at the rug as he continued his assault on her sensitive neck.

Fenris continued to kiss and graze his teeth along the dip to her shoulder where, without warning he bit sharply, and she cried out in surprise and pleasure. He trailed down further, nudging the swell of her modest but shapely breast with his nose, his hair tickling the sensitive skin and making her shiver.

His assault on each breast found an alternating torture of teeth and lips coaxing the nipple to peak, and the calloused hand flicking and stroking the other. Her legs would clench in response, and her feet kick out involuntarily.

His free hand drifted down to her restless legs, and slowly drew up from the knee while the attack on her breasts continued. His fingers played gently along the delicate folds and she arched once more, begging him to touch her, her words were a babble of begging and his name, along with threats if he did not do as she asked.

Feeling the moist heat beneath, he dipped a finger within and she cried out loudly at the invasion inside her. Spreading her legs invitingly, she bucked against his hand. "More" was all she could get out as sweat pearled on her brow, and her hands clawed at the remains of his clothes.

He allowed her to buck against his hand a moment, to satisfy her need, as well as to watch her struggle in desperation against her own passionate frenzy. It was intoxicating to see the reaction, to see this primal want of him. This was nothing like the way they had each other the first time. This time he wanted to memorize every moment, enjoy every sound, and every delicious sensation her body had for him, and his reaction to it.

He placed 2 fingers inside her then to her praising his name, and then began to stroke with his thumb the nub he found she took the most pleasure from. Peels of ecstasy escaped her lips, a hand found his cock then, and she seemed intent on causing him the same lust filled insanity he was reducing her too. But he would not be beaten at his own game.

Swirling his thumb faster, and with purpose, her legs shook with the sensation, and her grip on his member tightened to a distracting point, but made it easier for him to control his own end. Soon her insides clenched and she cried out, arching against him as he continued his assault. A gush of moisture splashed along his hand, and she begged him to be done.

Removing his hand and pulling off his shirt, he crawled on top of her where she shuddered with the aftershocks of her orgasm. He entered her swiftly and she clenched once more, nails digging into his back, and legs wrapping around his waist. She kissed him sloppily, teeth clashed, and lips bitten. She cried out, clenching him from within over and over again. As he begged his body to hold out longer, to enjoy her longer.

Her head fell back as she cried out his name, and suddenly he felt his end approaching despite all his efforts as she clenched and unclenched around him euphorically.

He drove mercilessly into her as he came, shouting out her name. Then holding himself within her as he stared down at the face of his love. Her eyes half lidded regarding him with warmth, and crinkled in the corners from the smile that met his own. Both momentarily overcome with their lovemaking and exhausted by pleasure.

He shivered at all the feelings he was awash in. The awareness of what happened that night he arrived with his only hope of being able to bask in her presence, and remember a time of something more.

She raised up her hands and cupped his face gently, before she sat up and placed her lips on his. “I love you Fenris,” she said against his mouth, sealing the words with another deep kiss.

His member stirred within her to a gasp from her lips, and he chuckled embarrassed by his obvious desire.

“I love you, I will love you forever, Marian,” he said, kissing her forehead, then her nose that scrunched up at the endearment, then her mouth. Keeping her lips captive until they both nearly gasped for breath.

“I could get used to this,” she eventually purred as they laid in one and others arms minutes to what felt like hours after the aggressive display of their love.

“Never,” Fenris answered an unspoken question, “every time with you will be an experience I will never consider languid or content. You leave me breathless, anxious, and distracted. I intend to take the same measures on your body to ensure my suffering is felt.”

Marian openly laughed at this to a content smile on his lips. “You would have me suffer your own frustrations between our sexual escapades?” she inquired, turning fully to face him now, from where they had spooned moments ago, staring at the fire.

Fenris growled as he caught her bottom lip with his mouth, “with pleasure,” he said, and Marian felt a quickening desire stir within her veins.

“Well, you can’t have suffered that much since then and now,” she chuckled, but the look in his eyes made her swallow, as a pulse began between her legs. She squeezed them without realizing, but he saw the reaction his threat inspired her body.

“I lay beside a beautiful and very naked woman who I love. The smell of her pleasure in the air, and covering me. I have the cries of her ecstasy still ringing in my ears, the claw marks in my back stinging from her primal lust. I've been watching the rise and fall of her delicious breasts while we speak, and you think that I have not suffered or been frustrated?” his deep voice drifted over her, causing her body to react. Her nipples peaked, goose bumps covered her, and by the maker despite the ache between her legs from their violent love making, she wanted… needed him again.

His deep green eyes were all she could concentrate on as he rolled her on her back and climbed atop her, “my lovely Marian… I was merely giving you a breather.”

As he plunged within her unexpectedly, she was near peaked and ready to come within two strokes inside her.

Hawke’s marabi slept outside her door that night. 

Orana chose to busy herself in the garden that morning with burning ears from what she nearly opened the door to when she went to call her mistress to breakfast.


End file.
